Coisas que eu não podia dizer.

Seventeen.

I am officially happy.

Couldn’t be happier. <3

/closed

Sixteen.

You talked to me today. You did. I’m so happy. Last night I cried so much cause I missed you. I feel like I could do anything today, I starved a lot. But I feel invincible. Amazing. I wonder why you talked to me. Did you miss me? I think about you every day. I spazz about you to Ally. She has to hear endless hours of me ranting. Trying to figure out why you do stuff. You should have seen the way I spazzed at her…I don’t know if you’d like it or not. You’re back to your more usual self. Except for us dating part. But I am happy you are less cold towards me. Gives me strength to not eat a thousand bottles of pills. And to not cut and other stuff. I always stalk you. I wonder if you stalk me. Nothing else matters, though. I’m talking to you.

Bliss.

Fifteen.

I am sick of playing FFXII all day. And of noteating/starving/whatever. I stopped cutting. I still miss you. 13 days left until college. I can’t wait. Today I went shopping and bought some stuff, like dishes, glasses and the like. I’m going to a wedding on wednesday. Yuck. I am so lonely. -sigh- I wish we could just…talk.

Fourteen.

I miss you. Miss you. So damn much. I’m still waiting for you. Always.

Thirteen.

I watched a HP marathon yesterday, woke up at 3 AM and it ended at 10, though I went to sleep at 11. Tomorrow I’m going to my dad’s. Ugh. I still miss you. I’m going insane, seriously. I keep hearing things…I don’t know, just buzzing. Or like my phone’s ringing/vibrating. I keep checking for you, I keep stalking you. Heh…this morning, after I checked my messages/wall/FB, I went to your profile. It always happens, I have to keep stalking you…WHY!? UGH. I wish you’d talk to me…then again, I am apparently not worth it because if I was, you’d fight for me. You damn coward. I still love you so much though. I also started practising on Gimp, effects and stuff.

My head hurts, my body hurts.

Everything hurts.

Make it stop.

Twelve.

I’ve been somewhat talking to Iain later. I’m glad. And I’ve been talking to Rod. I just…I’ll do anything to forget you.

I’m gonna write less often. I think. 3 weeks and 5 days till college. Oh and the-bastard-that-ruined-my-life has been stalking me which pisses me off. I unfriended Danny and he insists on sending me friend requests. That makes me even more mad.

My body hurts.

I miss you like hell.

I still hear you in this old piano.